1. So last week I went to see Les Mis on stage, so of course the logical next step is BECOME EPONINE! My damned chronic fatigue syndrome meant that energy is so finite that this is completely unrehearsed, I hadn’t even listened to the instrumental. Oh well, here goes nothing


  2. rambling

    Does anyone else worry that the fact that chronic fatigue syndrome prevents you from meeting new people, that you will never find love, or anything resembling it? Idk I am just lonely and I don’t want to feel that way forever

  3. cicatrici-scolorite:







    Sometimes I’m actually not hungry though and my parents still get their knickers in a twist

    My parents get really mad when I don’t have an appetite (I have anxiety/depression.) I want to gain weight but I can’t because I never feel like eating….

    What bugs me is that I’ve told my parents I have depression and they should probably know that loss ofal appetite is a symptom yet they totally ignore me and pester me about an eating disorder instead

    I mean I don’t want to gain weight anyway but I also don’t actively seek to lose it

    My parents can be real butts

    That is exactly the same thing that goes on with me, plus I have pains and digestive issues so it adds to the loss of appetite. I had a panic attack this morning and I was told it was my fault. Just an example of how parents don’t always understand…

    That seriously sucks and I’m so sorry.

    I totally understand how it feels to be blamed though. My mum says tjat by exhibiting the symptoms of depression I am causing it and making it worse.

    She says I’m depressed BECAUSE I don’t eat properly/sleep properly/wake up easily/act happy all the time. And if I started just fighting the symptoms and get out of bed then I’ll get better.

    She actually said all this today.

    I wanted to hit my own face against a wall.

    I definitely get that a lot. “If you did things, you would feel better!” Sure, but it’s very, very hard to do things when you feel like you can’t physically or mentally do them…. feeling useless doesn’t help either.


    She was all “and if you don’t want to get up out of bed I’ll just have to rip the covers off you won’t I?”

    What’s her problem wow

    I’m really sorry for every single one of you, I wish I could fix everything for you, but I also want to throw into this that your parents are probably just trying their damn hardest to do right by you, and help you to be happy and safe, because they love their darling little girl/boy more than anyone could describe. Really sorry if this comes across as hater-esque, it was truly not my intention <3

    (Source: bad-tess)


  4. I feel like crap. I am just so fucking tired and grieving for the life that I don’t have due to stupid frickin chronic fatigue syndrome. I want to sleep but I cant. Yes I know it could be a lot worse but fuck off I am too tired to be noble. I am just tired and so so lonely.

    Hm sorry for mucho cussing, I am ughrnejkmfael


  5. I feel so effing shitty and I am in a really damn bad mood.

  6. (Source: kpfun, via alohasummerlove)


  7. I have my first appointement with the CFS/ME specialist clinic tomorrow. I have no idea what to expect and I am not gonna let myself get my hopes up about it. They’ll probably just put me on crazy/happy pills because my brain isn’t good enough at being happy, and tell me that I eat to much/not enough. Idk all I want them to do is diagnose me with something that is actually a physical, solid illness that they know something about. I would rather know that I was going to die in a month, than not know if I will ever ever feel better from this illness that no-one actually know what it is/why the body does it


  8. not an inspirational post


    Chronic illness will break every bone in your body. It will steal your laughter and smiles and youth. It will ruin your life and tear down every fucking part of you that you recognize. Is there a light at the end of the tunnel? How do you get over all of the trauma that chronic illness leaves in its wake.


  9. therealbarbielifts:







    I wasted a few minutes trying to remember what episode of Doctor Who this related to and then realized it was about Titanic…

    I wasted a few minutes trying to figure out why Rose and Jack would be in the Titanic episode when that’s season 4.

    I tried to click the reblog button in the picture.


    Whovians are a mess.

    But Jack never dies? Is this even about Doctor Who or?

    No it’s about the actual titanic hahaha. But I defiantly thought this was about doctor who too

    (via carpediemfit)


  10. image

    friendly reminder that there really is no flattering way to take the bedbound chronic fatigue selfie


  11. Does anyone know where I can watch Gilmore girls online for free??


  12. Pointless Rant (maybe trigger warning who fucking knows?)

    This is goi to be ful of typos cause for some reasonmy laptop doesn’t get on well with tumblr, and I am too godamned tired to try to fix it.

    I know I have no right to complain, lots of people have it worse than me. Hell that’s part of the issue. I just can’t see any light or goodness about life or in the world. Seems like everything and everybody is just always suffering. I don’t see anything to look forward to. If life is shit for everyone then what’s the point in it?

    I am sick to hell with being in pain all the time. I’m sick of every waking moment being obsessed by want

    ing to binge but at the same time never wanting to eat a crumb, because of this control/weight/whatever the hell issue I have. I am sick of wanting to sleep all of the time, yet even if I do I am always fucking exhausted. I am sick of my health being everyone’s favourite topic. I am sick of computer/TV screens, and the walls of my house. I am sick of the fact that although I am complaining a hell of a lot right now, my lift is by no means the worst, and so many people have it worse. That means that even if i do ever recover, I haven’t got anything to look forward to because life sucks for the healthy people too. I am sick of every day ending up in tears at least once,. I am sick of the fact that Leon is dead and I can’t see him. I am sick of my head being full of him. I am sick of missing him. I am sick of the fact that I dread the one day a week when I do my favourite thing, because my damn illness means I don’t enjoy it. I am sick of this damn brain fog, and the aches in all of my body. I am sick of the waiting for the CFS/ME clinic to actually get back to me, even though what can they even do when they do reply? Put me on crazy pills to make me happy? Make me talk to a counsellor about the fact that life is shit? I am sick of causing all my family and friends to worry about me, when they have enough on their plates as it is. This is a stupid post its depressive and self centred and over dramatic or whatever. I just don’t want to do this “life” thing anymore, because what’s the effing point. NO-one’s ever happy. But there’s no way to get out of this life thing. At least if my illness had an end-date looming I would know that it was finite. But after Leon’s death, I can’t say things like that about life being pointless, because his death has brken everyone, and i don’t want them to break any more.

    No I am no suicidal, or mentally unstable. This is just a ranty, stupid teenage post because life is just shut up serena know ono-ne’s even reading this.


  13. Are they having an End of Series pardy for Made in Chelsea? I haven’t seen anything about it…?


  14. Bruising?

    I have ben diagnosed with CFS/ME by my GP, and am being referred to a specialist clinic. They will probably be the ones to confirm the diagnosis. (or not confirm it, if it’s not that). Looking at the symptoms, I’m pretty much reseigned to the fact that it is, but I have a question. Do you guys get random bruising from nowhere, and just like leaning on things. It didn’t seen to be on the symptom list…


  15. fibroautoimmunecfsdeathmatch:

    My reaction to the first time a doctor told me that my illness couldn’t be cured but that it was “manageable”…

    uhtirgktrj yes